While watching the Real Housewives of Miami the other day, I realized why this show sank in the ratings unlike the other Real Housewives franchises. During each season rich women from a specific city gallivant about town. While they are obnoxious and speak before thinking constantly, these women normally have a likability factor to them. While ridiculous, there is something about a Teresa or a Bethenny that is human and therefore viewers can connect and enjoy them. The Miami cast doesn't have any such luck. These women are just horrible and vapid. They have no redeeming qualities and therefore the viewers don't really care what happens to them.
In the midst of this Miami noise machine Bravo calls a show, there is one beacon of pure delight and enjoyment: Elsa Patton. This woman should not only get her own show, she should adopt me as her granddaughter. I will totally bail her out of jail the next time she's locked up...it's because I care. Do I have a wisecracking cuban grandmother already? Yes. Does she proclaim she is a witch with soothsayer powers? I wish! But no. Unfortunately, while my grandmother is hilarious she doesn't take to the sauce as well or as frequently as Elsa. Because she spends most of her time wasted on the show, the jewels that come out of her mouth are nothing less than fantastically entertaining. When she is not slurring her words while in a red wine induced coma, she is giving the people around her back-handed compliments and assuring her daughter she is a "modern woman" when it comes to sex! I could watch this woman for hours. I want to bring her home. She might scare people off with her face (she used to be a real knockout by the way...I've provided pictures below), but she has won the hearts of Bravo viewers with her wit and charm. I love her.
Here's a clip of her being fantastic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adL_-5Ak7hA
Here is what she used to look like: (Scroll down past her mugshot)
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/2011/03/meet_elsa_pattons_old_face_fin.php
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