Everyone's Looking for Love and They Don't Want to go Home

I now know what I want my goal in life to be....I want to become Jason Derulo. Not only does he get to sing his own name throughout his popular hits, he seems to be made of rubber as can be seen while he dances up a storm on screen. Sure, he reattributes old hits and isn't very original...I think i'll have to give him a pass though. Who would have thought that the song from Beetle Juice would be incorporated into a very popular hit dance song (Don't Want to go Home...sooooo catchy...link below). The fact of the matter is the man is talented, he dances like his body is made up of the same stuff Mr. Fantastic is made of and his calling card is him proudly belting out his own name so there is no question as to who's song you are listening to...I think I might try this out in the street of Manhattan...on second thought it might not be as well received since I'm not famous....hmmmm....maybe if i use autotune...
I wonder if Jason Derulo has some deep seeded insecurities and this is his way to make sure people remember who's singing...I appreciate that level of sensitivity. I get you, Jason Derulo. I'm taking dance lesson and hopefully I'll gain some mutant powers so i can contrort my body like you...it's a dream I won't let go of. JASON DERULO.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CGF_Z3yZAo

Guess I Won't Be The Next American Idol....

Learned something the hard way the other day….Karaoke is right not a privilege. While gallivanting about town with some close friends, I stumbled upon a glorious karaoke club and decided it was a good idea to showcase the old pipes. Inspired by the bouncer’s stonewashed denim jacket, I started off the night singing some Brian Adam (Summer of ’69). As the night progressed, however, my ambition grew as my sobriety waned. I thought to myself (while in a tequila haze), “Wow, I have a really great voice…I can sing anything…” So I decide to sing the hardest song in the world. I decided to sing “Alone” by Heart….really? I’ve made some poor decisions in my life and this one definitely had to be one of the worst. Did I really think I could become the third Wilson sister? Apparently so…anyway to make a long story short as I tried to hit the notes that made Ann Wilson an icon by voice cracks cueing the people around me to turn off the music. In my 27 years of existence I have heard some bad karaoke but I have never seen anyone get the music turned off on them. Guess I can scratch that off my bucket list. While embarrassing, I did learn a valuable lesson. I should stick to my comfort zone (Billy Ocean and Sir Mixalot…if they don’t have that in the selection I’m keeping quiet and playing the tambourine on the side…)

Alexander McQueen's Savage Beauty: Exploring the Dark Side to Genius

This past Saturday morning I had the great pleasure of culturally enriching myself by way of the late Alexander McQueen. I confess, I have never thought of nor taken seriously the medium of fashion as art form but after being exposed to McQueen's Savage Beauty exhibit, I humbly stand corrected. McQueen's collection, for the most part, ecos his dark side to romanticism. While some of the accessories were a bit violent (head masks...spinal vest made of metal...), there was a softness to his work as well. I see the romantic schizophrenic he self proclaimed himself to be through his artwork. Fabric was is canvas as he beautifully transformed materials into works of art. I am sadden to think that the fashion world and by extension the art world has forever lost such an inspired and innovative soul. I admit his desire to empower through fashion could be a bit off-putting at times. However, his creative use of intimidation and sadomasochistic influences speaks more to his sensitivity and vulnerably which I think contributed strongly to his genius. Unfortunately, it has been said time after time that there is a thin line separating genius from insanity. I think this was the case for our visionary friend...there was too much genius in one man's head for him to cope with life, success and his particular flavors of romanticism. This exhibit is exceptional. I urge everyone to go see this. Not only are the collections breathe-taking, the overall curation and ambience throughout the exhibit makes the haunting beauty of the exhibit a completely visceral and all consuming experience.

take a look for yourself:
http://blog.metmuseum.org/alexandermcqueen/about/

Ben Harper: Giving it All He's Got

Deviating from his signature soulful sound, Ben Harper tries his hand at a more psychedelic look at love and life in his new album, Give Till It’s Gone. The album’s high energy infectiously grabs the attention of the listener. Rock and Roll hypnotizes while it entertains. The electric guitar compliments Harper’s raspy vocals giving the track the rock edge it needs. Feel Love showcases the sensitivity of a wounded artist. This album serves as an emotional release for Harper. The well renowned and mellow artist demonstrates a different more determined side to him in I Will Not Be Broken. Ben Harper’s talents know no boundaries: his love for the blues, soul, reggae and rock music can be seen throughout this eclectic album.
While themes of love are at the root of the album, this collection of songs is not
for the eternal optimist. Harper combines his famous laid-back tendencies with
a harder edge to illustrate that he has seen the ugly side of love and made it out
alive. Harper’s strength and sensitivity are illuminated while the album showcases
the discernible uniqueness of Harper as he takes his life lessons and shares them
through sound and deeply soulful groove.

A Crowded Subway is No Excuse for Unlawful Sexual Conduct...

While riding the bus to Hoboken last Friday (yes, I was going to Jersey…no, I didn’t lose a bet..jk I have got nothing but love for Jersey. After all, its filled with Cubans (thank you Union City for housing my people).
Anyway, back to my bus ride….I was sitting there minding my business; nervous having never taken this particular bus thinking about how I would be lost in who knows where Jersey only to make the evening news that night when it happened…I innocently look across from me at the man sitting facing me. Now, I am no pervert but I could not help but notice the extremely ill fitting pants this man was wearing. Sir, if you have large junk a)good for you but more importantly b)find pants that support your situation. I am sorry but I felt super uncomfortable. Truth be told, I almost felt like introducing myself since I was basically forced to stare at his piece for the duration of the ride (thank God Hoboken is close by).
On the subway, I have been fortunate enough to sit while the car is jammed with people but sitting can be just as risqué and unpleasant when again, a man who is too big for his britches decides to stand right in front of you while you innocently and politely try to ignore the bulge in his pant…after all, I am a lady…I think people need to buy pants that fit. Just like most women I know try and avoid the muffin top or camel toe produced by wearing ill fitted pants; men should do the same. I hope this post starts a revolution….

"It's Like Riding A Bike"

I’m sure you have all heard the expression…”It’s just like riding a bike!” While most take this as a popular reference referring to a skill or task that will never be forgotten, for me that expression is a constant reminder of my failures. While the vast majority of people do indeed learn how to ride a bicycle when they are young and unafraid, my lackluster attempts now as an adult are nothing more than a vaudevillian comedy routine. Unlike a young, precautious youth who picks themselves back up after a fall, I have had 27 years of life to scare me and cause me sufficient pain.
I would be lying if I didn’t admit the fact that yes, I wonder what that would feel like: riding a bike. Do I wonder enough to make a fool out of myself in central park while onlookers point and laugh at the adult with training wheels?…Yea, not so much.
While perusing YouTube with my coworker, she showed me a clip (provided below). While I have never personally felt that sense of accomplishment of first learning how to ride a bike, I do appreciate the overall theme of this clip and thought it would be inspiring to share. We have all overcome hardships and obstacles…this kid made me feel proud of everything I have been able to do and withstand (even though my skillset doesn’t including success with the most popular childhood pastime.) This proud child teaches the defeatist in all of us to just keep trying and never give up….his wisdom is definitely beyond his years…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaIvk1cSyG8 (Enjoy!!!)

Back to School

Last night I embarked on a new adventure in my life. While I have surrounded myself with media, I have always shied away from the technology behind media making. Well, I am finding out that I have more guts than I thought! Yesterday was my first final cut pro editing class and so far so good. Granted, we only went through the basic but I thought I would be a goner by this point.
Editing has always interested me. My last semester of college I took an Aesthetic of Editing class and absolutely fell in love with the craft…and it wasn’t only because the instructor looked exactly like my Dad and I felt compel to hung him after every lecture…I didn’t. Come on people, I have more social grace than that…I mean barely but still I didn’t want to scare the poor man. He was probably so terrified of me already seeing as I was fixated on every word he said always. A)he is a brilliant man and B)the uncanny resemblance to my father was seriously ridiculous and since my father passed away when I was young the weird affections towards my instructor could be explained but I so didn’t want to go there with him.
Affections aside, I learned that I loved the craft of editing and hopefully with some luck and hard work I might actually be great at this…wish me luck y’all!!!!! (I’m not southern I just felt like saying y’all…it’s jaunty and makes me happy!)

Soundtrack to Life

Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen too many movies. Or it could be the fact Television helped me learn English as a kid. Either way, some may say I have a flair for the dramatic and romantic (I can’t lie…I definitely do). That being said, wouldn’t it add so much excitement and fun to life to have a soundtrack accompanying you on your daily chores. I truly think music is the perfect accessory to life. I know it would probably get old after about half a day but it would be so amusing to have musical accompaniment for your various day to day happenings. You could walk to the bank and instead of being bored you could dance along to Aloe Blacc's "I Need A Dollar." If music would be too distracting, perhaps you could have your favorite artist narrate your life as it unfolds. Wouldn’t that be something? If you are having a dramatic day, James Earl Jone’s powerful baritone voice could explain the play by play of your breakup or other dramatic event. I know I would find great comfort in Morgan Freeman’s voice narrating my life…so soothing.
I think the show How I Met Your Mother definitely had the right idea casting Bob Saget as the omnipresent narrator. Before I go on, yes, I still watch How I Met Your Mother. I know it has jumped the shark and definitely has lost its comedic steam but I’m invested so what can I say? Even though the show has gotten signifying less funny in season 6, one beacon of light that still hold the show together for me is Bob Saget. Perhaps I should chalk it up to nostalgia…I did love Full House.
Regardless, his dry comedic timing got me thinking about how much more enriched my life would be if he narrated my day to day. I have heard he's a bit of a perv in real life and nothing like the fatherly, type-A Danny Tanner I grew up loving so I'd let him have a coffee break when I was showering. No need to hear what he would say about that...
I think a soundtrack to one’s life would give entertainment and inspiration when one really needed it. Frequently, I'll be sitting on the train after a long day at work and it is the music on my ipod that gives me the energy and motivation to get my butt to the gym. Yes, Christina Aguilera…I am beautiful….or yes TLC, I don’t want no scrubs…whatever your motivation in life, embrace it and grab on to what makes you happy…for me...it's Bob Saget...

Get Ready For The Cuteness

Even if you are not a cat lover...truth be told cats have freaked me out a little ever since I saw that terrifying Broadway musical when I was five and an actor dress as a horrifying Catman came right up to me during the performance and meowed in my face...I haven't been the same since...to be honest I think I attribute my cat allergies to that frightful night.
That being said, this video was sent to me by a close friend and I can not stop playing it. It is the cutest, most endearing thing I have ever seen (ok, not the cutest cutest thing ever ever but it's adorable nonetheless.) Disclaimer: the cats in the video are sleeping not dead...knowing that upfront might help you enjoy the full experience of the video.

Watch the clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw4KVoEVcr0

Long Island Native Raquel Castro Should Stick to Acting

For those who have not followed my blog in the past, I am a huge fan of NBC's new show, The Voice. Not only am I enamored by all four celebrity coaches...I have been in awe of the talent thus far. For those of you who follow the show and watch this Tuesday's episode you can imagine the the mixed emotions I felt. I don't know what was more disappointing...Raquel Castro's performance during the first battle of the night or the fact I recognized her from the movie, Jersey Girl. Yes, I am talking about that horrible movie starring JLo and Ben Affleck when they affectionally were referred as American "power couple: Bennifer." The memories of that union still haunt my dreams...that man actually went fake tanning more frequently than starred in movies....I expected more from an Academy Award winner. Perhaps her booty was his kryptonite...he could not say no to her or her sexual prowess.
Back to the issue at hand...this past episode of The Voice while starting off rocky did end with an excellent performance by the Thompson Sisters. This last performance proved that although young and inexperienced, these siblings have the heart and talent to go far in this competition. I'm sorry Raquel. You are adorably precocious but after Tuesday's lackluster performance I don't think you have the pipes to go to the top. Looking on the bright side of things, however, when JLo inevitably makes another craptastic movie, you'll be frist in line! You have already got an in and the exposure you have gained from the show can help with your dancing and acting career. Unfortunately, I don't think things will pan out for you as a singer. On a positive note, you have made Long Island proud...after such hot messes like Joey Buttafuoco and Billy Joel you have given Long Island something to finally be proud of.

The Voice : Battle Round - Raquel Castro vs. Julia Eason:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ymww0k0XHs&feature=related

The Blind Boys of Alabama: Taking the High Road

The Legendary Blind Boys of Alabama combine their famous gospel styling with some country flair in their most recent efforts: Take the High Road. Their harmonious melodies blend country and gospel in a powerfully spiritual way. The Blind Boys of Alabama serve as a source of great talent and inspiration. As if their own vocals weren’t powerful enough, the group has teams up this time with some of country’s finest. Joining the album are The Oak Ridge Boys, Lee Ann Womack, Willie Nelson, Vince Gill and Hank Williams. Each collaborator brings their own personal touch to the album and beautifully counter-balances the strong lyricism of The Blind Boys. The album starts off strong with the track Take the High Road which immediately draws fans by humbling us with talent and earnest passion. Although a bit morose, I Was a Burden surprisingly uplifts while exploring the difficulties of addiction and heartache. The quality of the songwriting and musicianship justifies why the Blind Boys of Alabama are revered as extraordinary. Listening to this album for the first time will make an impact on you due to the albums strong sense of unity and divine conviction.

Britney Blows the Billboards...And No One is Impressed

The Billboard Music Awards were this Sunday and the reviews are in. While Beyonce is getting praise for her performance others seemed to have left the critics with a bad taste in their mouths. Britney Spears might be back but what she is selling is a piss poor attempt at performing. It’s one thing to lip-sync which (we all know she has done since her first album) but it is quite another to lip-sync and hardly perform on stage…that’s just lazy. Some performers chose to lip-sync due to the intricate choreography their performance entails (like Usher or Chris Brown). That would be excusable…at least in my eyes. At least they are putting in an effort to entertain their fans. Britney’s cameo during Rihanna’s S&M performance was kind of lackluster to put it politely. While one performer was clearly trying and singing (Rihanna) the other (Britney) not only didn’t sing she hardly moved. What I find comical about the whole thing, however, is that she no longer even tries to match her lip-syncing to the track…she cares that little.
In her hay day, Britney could do it all: pretend to sing, dance and gyrate on stage mesmerizing her audiences the world over. Let us not all forget, she held a live snake on stage once upon a time. She even kissed Madonna…not that the original material girl isn’t a handsome woman...my point solely is that these examples go to show she was capable of trying and doing everything and anything to create a show-stopping moment.
I know it’s not your Hit Me, Baby, One More Time days, but come on, you are still young enough to give a crap. If anything, try a little harder for your kids. And trying doesn’t mean lazily pressing yourself against a stripper pole. That was a mockery to hardworking strippers all over. Those girls work for their money…you are just resting on your laurels. While I am a fan of Britney’s auto-tuned new album, I don’t think it’s right to lazily move across the stage…especially when you can even be troubled to try and sing. I hope for the sake of all of her remaining fans that bought tickets to her tour that she actually works for them.
The Performance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88aomeGISxQ

Taj Gibson: A Star is Born!

There comes a time in everyone’s life (man or woman) in which you experience something miraculous. No matter who you are, we all succumb to the romantic notion of the underdog. Most people I know love rooting for the diamond in the rough, whether that be Aladdin, an American Idol Contestant, or an NBA player. This past Sunday night, I had the privilege of experiencing greatness is the form of Taj Gibson. Before Sunday, I had never heard of him (Admittingly I am no longer the greatest basketball fan…the Knicks have scarred me body and soul so therefore I gave up on the sport…sad really)

After such an amazing performance, this Chicago Bulls second-string power forward might not be second string next season. What is great about his dunk over Dwayne Wade is that no one expected him to perform to that capacity. The utter shock could be felt through the television screen
(and that’s not only because my brother has an awesome HD television).

There is something special about sharing a moment of glory like that. It was heartwarming to think that Reggie Miller (who was the TNT announcer for the game) was just as awestruck as I was and that man knows sports! Who knows, perhaps Taj Gibson has re-sparked my interest in the NBA…

ps. if I ever dunked on anyone (my lack of vertical aptitude and my cankles permitting) I would most definitely make that exact face (see pic above)

Clips from last Sunday’s game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmN-MIbvLks

Beals Will Now Need to Flashdance for Change...

The final word was given yesterday. While some fan favorites have gotten prematurely axed, some were finally put out to rest after a good run. Among the shows being canceled, Brothers and Sisters finally say adieu after a good five season run. I never really got into the show but I love Sally Field. Hopefully she can find a new gig and not rely entirely on her Boniva endorsement…that would just be depressing. What saddens me about the report of these cancellations is that while Fox’s Chicago Code got the boot, shows like Jerseylicious are still going strong. Listen, I will be the first to admit that trashy reality shows are intoxicating but it befuddles me to think that quality programming is falling to the waste-side while crap is being produced left right and center (not Mob Wives…that’s quality). Poor Jennifer’s Beals; she hasn’t done anything legitimate since Flashdance and Fox is just taking that away from her. First the Book of Eli now this….one devastating blow after the next. Chin up; there is always Dancing with the Stars. Apparently the only way to succeed in television these days is to succumb to the reality programming format. I think Jennifer Beals would clean up shop on Dancing with the Stars. Note to self: call her agent and suggest this…It’s because I care.

I am happy, however, to report that Mr. Sunshine and Mad Love both got canned. I actually tried to watch both of these shows and debated writing both CBS and ABC to ask for that time back from my life.

For a more comprehensive list of what got the axed:

http://www.tvsquad.com/2011/05/16/canceled-tv-shows-2011/

Michael Bolton's Glorious Return

Michael Bolton may have been the butt of many jokes over the past decade but now he’s the one having the last laugh. Dancing with the Stars clearly didn’t pan out too well for the soulful singer but in the end who cares; he’s still Michael Bolton. The fact that he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously (the man rocked a mullet for most of the 90’s) has served as a great asset to him over the years. Between his sense of humor and strong vocal ability, a comeback was not only inevitable; it’s well deserved. He joins the group The Lonely Island (featuring SNL comedian Adam Sandberg) on their new album. His glorious return to music is filled with laughs while he pokes fun at himself and some movie classics. The Lonely Island’s new album, Turtlenecks and Chains is getting stellar reviews and with such collaborators such as Bolton, Nicki Minaj and Snoop Dogg it’s no surprise.

The Lonely Island featuring Michael Bolton:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY

NBC's The Voice Hits a High Note!

Having fallen off the American Idol bandwagon for a variety of reasons (my strong disdain for Jennifer Lopez, the lack of overall talent this season…I could go on and on). Let’s just put it this way, when Simon left the show, the program shit the bed…enough said. I am happy to report, however, that if you, like me, are a fan of reality programming competitions and yearn for a singing fix look no further than The Voice. NBC’s brilliant new show demonstrates that no matter who you are or what you look like you have got a chance. The program is full of hope and promise for these aspiring artists. Singers such as Idol cast-off Frenchie Davis tries her hand at a second chance at life proving that she will never give up on her dream.

All of the judges/coaches are not only talented themselves but they are relevant; unlike in other competition shows in which people are showcased as judges with no prior experience or expertise. (I love you Ellen, but come on you had no business being a judge on a singing competition). Each coach brings something fresh to the table and will help mold their hopefuls into become a star. Using their credentials and experience in the field, the coaches will help hone the craft for each of their team members.

The coaches are a motley crew of individuals: Christina Aguilera, Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, and of course my man, Cee-Lo Green. My favorite part about this competition so far is how genuinely excited these artists are to help the contestants and how truly impressed they are with the prospective talents. Also, and let me know if anyone else thought this? But, wasn’t Cee-lo a bit of a pervy old man at times. It was hilarious. He hit on every legal piece of tail on stage. Man, I love him! This further proves to me that all this show does it keep it honest. I hope it continues to do well :)

The coaches taking the stage and kicking off the show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5K7HGxVRcs

Jodie Foster's Beaver is Getting Great Review....

Anyone else find it ironic/humorous that Jodie Foster’s new movie is called “The Beaver?” Irony aside, the movie is getting wonderful reviews. Not only is Foster receiving accolades for her brilliant direction of a difficult story surrounding mental illness, the cast is getting rave reviews for their acting as well. Now to be fair, Mel Gibson is no stranger to drama. The man has more personalities than the cast of the Jersey Shore and he is equally as drunk and violent. With that said, how much of his powerful dramatic presence in the movie is acting or merely being himself??? After reading about the plot of the movie, I can definitely say that it does seem to have a lot of heart. Family struggles no matter how out there they may seem are a universal topic which many of us can relate to. Let’s just hope Gibson isn’t a method actor. If he toted that puppet about town, he would have probably ended up in the slammer again. Either that or finally the five-O would have taken him to the Loony Bin…puppet in tow. I wonder if his puppet is a racist drunk too??? Whelp, I guess I have to go see the movie now and check it out for myself.

Your Nordic Track Gave You A New Face???

I don’t understand why plastic surgery is always such a point of contention for so many celebrities when the vast majority it seems get a little nip there and a tuck there at some point in their career. While some celebrities become a bit obsessive about it, other’s use it as a necessary means to an end in a cut throat industry that clearly idolized beauty and youth. There is a lot of pressure in Hollywood (I wouldn’t know personally but I can assume). Actors are held up on a pedestal for us to worship. We aspire to look like the famous people we see on the small and large screen. While, personally, plastic surgery freaks me out and I would never do it. A) I’m 27 so I haven’t had to think about it although Megan Fox is younger than me and felt the need to destroy her perfect face…idiot, she looks like a freak now (picture above). B) I’m a fan of aging gracefully (I may change my mind when my boobs are at my knees but we shall see…I’m not that chesty anyways…but I digress).

Recently suspicion has arose as to whether or not Bristol Palin has gone under the knife or if her drastic change in appearance is due to her weight loss. She was interviewed at her home by E! Entertainment’s Giuliana Rancic. While at her home Bristol proudly showed off her treadmill and said she has been working out a lot more. No one can disagree that she has definitely lost a lot of weight and she looks great but hunny, that treadmill did not give you that new chin, I’m sorry. I don’t understand why people are so embarrassed and don’t fess up to something so obvious. It really makes me laugh. What do you guys think? Her new look: Plastic Surgery or Weight Loss??? I think both!

President Obama, You're Funny...Take That Trump

It appears as though Donald Trump can dish it out but he most certainly cannot take it. At the White House Correspondent’s dinner this Saturday, Obama whimsically took some jabs back at the Donald. Trump said his peace all over the media regarding his concerns over the birth place of the President. At the dinner it was finally time for Donald to shut his big mouth and listen. Being as Trump has no sense of humor and can never let himself be the butt of a joke, he gave almost no reaction to Obama's joking. The President went so far as to show a clip of “his birth video” and then proceeded to present a clip from the Lion King. It was pretty funny stuff. This proves once again, well at least to me, that President Obama is a very charismatic man. Trump wasn’t the only one he aimed is jokes at, however. Facing the news that actor, Matt Damon, was “disappointed in the President’s performance,” the President retorted “Well Matt, I saw Adjustment Bureau…and the feeling is mutual." Obama has integrated pop culture and celebrity in a very intelligent way throughout his campaign. When he integrates jokes into speeches or makes popular culture reference he becomes more acceptable to the American public and I think most people truly appreciate and respect that.

Here is a clip from the beginning of the Correspondent’s Dinner:

Obama Video

A Perfect Hit at the Tribeca Film Festival

Friday night I have the pleasure of going to the Tribeca Film Festival with a wonderful and dear friend of mine. Some would be surprised to find this out (I was among them) that the films were not only aired in Theaters in Tribeca. Armed with this new knowledge, I finished up work and make my way to the lower east side to see “The Perfect Family.” Kathleen Turner was hilarious. Her comedic timing was not only impressive but truly heartfelt and entertaining. She was likable while being nutty. I have to say it though and I am sorry but man the years have been tough on her face. Not sure if she went a couple of round in the ring with a UFC fighter or if the booze is finally taking its effect after years of drinking but she is looking more and more like Mickey Rourke every day. Man O Man! With that said, she does a stellar job playing the highly religious matriarch of an unconventional family. I think most people would truly enjoy this film and I believe films like this are was make the Tribeca Film Festival the success it is. This festival is always full of heart and compelling stories. They might be off the beaten back, but they always leave you thinking days later. That is one of the reason I love going every day (I am thankful that it has become more of a personal tradition for me). If you have a chance to see this movie definitely remember the title. You won’t be sorry :)

Going to the Gym…Getting my TV On

After purchasing our new condo, my boyfriend and I both agreed to not splurge on cable in and effort to cut our monthly costs. With the advent of Hulu and Netfix, we thought we would have no use for cable anyway. As a New Years resolution, I joined at gym last January. Not only am I loving the fact that I feel healthier and don’t feel like my lung is about to pop every time I step onto an elliptical, I have found a very important reason to stick to my gym regime. I get to watch cable!!!! Turns out I miss it very much and my glorious glorious gym provides quite a bit of channels for my disposable. It is truly a wondrous thing. I get to work out and do the running I desperately need to all the while indulging in my guilty pleasure reality shows I hate making my boyfriend watch. (In all fairness he watches most with me but draws the line at Dancing With the Stars...)

As someone who has immersed herself in television and media (no not in a Jim Carrey/Cable Guy creepy sort of way where I think Gilligan is my real life best friend) I have grown to appreciate the reality television show in all of its’ forms. Time after time, reality programming has sucked me in and I start caring about these people I don’t actually know and very rarely respect. But boy, do I find them entertaining. I think gyms should really up sell their costumers and talk about their cable and television capabilities….I understand people actually go to the gym to work out and not get distracted but; come on. Lets all be honest for point five seconds. How much easier does the time go by when you are distracted by lovely (in my case) reality programming while you run for 45 minutes? I can’t think of anything greater.

I am being healthy while still indulging my mind with a creative source of entertainment. Right now, my favorite thing to watch at the gym is Bethenny Ever After (she is also a source of inspiration for me seeing as though I have used toothpicks with more girth than her). I have to say, although she looks like a Dr. Seuss character, she really does have a great body and she takes care of herself. I also, as you can tell from previous posts, love love love to watch the Real Housewives franchises (particularly Jersey and New York…sorry DC, you were a waste of time…hence why Bravo gave you the boot).

I think the moral of this story is if you must go to the gym and many of us really should, why not make it as pleasant an experience as possible and for me that is surrounding myself with terribly entertaining television.

Mob Wives are Keeping it All in the Family

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of experiencing masterful mafia television in the form of VH1’s new reality series Mob Wives. Man oh Man, is this show ridiculously amazing. Not only are the housewives actually terrifying (all of their men are in jail and half of the cast are related to the mob), they are self proclaimed "mob loyalists" who prefer the life of the "streets." Renee (the alpha housewife) goes on to say, “I don’t date…all the good ones are in jail.” Um….I would beg to differ but then again I think these women and I have very opposite tastes. These women are surrounded by crime and violence. They are violent and use confrontation as an ally. This combination of ostentatious behavior coupled with drama makes for an intoxicating mixture. The ladies of the show were on Good Morning America recently and discussed how Staten Island was not too please with the way they these ladies are depicting Staten Island. Not that I have been to Staten Island very often but I have been on the Ferry a couple times. Other than the mob connections and prison records…I don’t think these ladies are too far off from what I have seen of Staten Island. They are tough; from their accents down to there demeanors and I cannot get enough!

My concern is there won’t be a season two because these women will be “offed” due to them speaking about the “family business.” Maybe I am just not cut out for a life of crime but I would be terrified talking about my inner circle’s criminal records. But then again not much scares these women. I thought dating someone who was unemployed was bad, these people date criminals and dig it! Different strokes for different folks I guess. Either way, this show has sucked me in and promises to be a rollercoaster of emotion.

Now This is Impressive

Brian Wilson first grabbed my eye while closing game five of the 2010 World Series. While most others watching this important game were captivated about the fact that The Giants would be winning their first World Championship since 1954 (eat it, Red Sox…you’re lives haven’t been that bad anymore…so go cry somewhere else…not you Mike Lowell…I love you.) So there I was trying to concentrate on the game when this miraculous beard came into vision. Oh, Brian Wilson, it looks like you dip your beard in a can of tar but I can’t take my eyes off you. He and Kevin Youkilis (Red Sox) look like they were both scouted at a biker bar… I mean I dig it and everything but they are two scary dudes. I think Wilson’s closing power is hidden in his beard. Much like Superman is rendered useless when faced with kryptonite…so are Wilson’s opponents when faced with that massive nest of charcoal hair….I love the fact I wrote a blog about this man’s beard…think about that. I took time out of my day for this :) I am not, however, the only one impressed with the power of his chin follicles. Time and time again, Giant fans arm themselves with fake beards while chanting “fear the beard.” I find it humorous that he has generated such popularity by growing a beard…then again this is no ordinary accessory.

The Talent has been "Abducted"

On September 23^rd, 2011, Taylor Lautner will star in the upcoming movie “Abduction.” Real life girlfriend, Lily Collins (yup, Phil Collins’ daughter) also co stars along side Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver. Why Alfred and Sigourney are in this movie? I have no idea. I guess Law and Order: LA isn’t paying the bills for Molina and Sigourney is taking anything and everything she can get. I actually really like and respect both of these artists so perhaps this movie has more promise than one would think. Then again, Maria Bello is also in this movie and we all know she has starred in some real gems (Coyote Ungly…Duets…need I say more). The movie doesn’t actually look that terrible but then again a) I’m a nice person and b)I will watch anything. In fact, I kind of actually liked “Hot Tub Time Machine” (yes, I just said that…please don’t judge me.)

The acting is what bothers me the most about this movie. Particularly Lautner's acting or lack thereof. While watching the trailer yesterday I thought that the movie was intriguing enough but Lautner’s acting was so atrocious I might have to go see the movie and bring ear plugs. Aesthetically he and Lily Collins make a cute pair, but if I have to sit through two hours of melodramatic and over the top horrible acting I may just have to leave....movies are too expensive now...why would I waste hard earned money on a movie that should go straight to DVD. I think Phil Collins should make a cameo to spice up this action flick even more. Didn’t he ride in a helicopter in “Easy Lover.” The man clearly has action experience…Oh, Phil....I hope he makes a come back.

Anyway if anyone wants to see the trailer… I have provided a link below. What are your thoughts?

http://www.deadline.com/2011/04/hot-trailer-abduction/

Elsa Patton: Will You Be My Grandma?

While watching the Real Housewives of Miami the other day, I realized why this show sank in the ratings unlike the other Real Housewives franchises. During each season rich women from a specific city gallivant about town. While they are obnoxious and speak before thinking constantly, these women normally have a likability factor to them. While ridiculous, there is something about a Teresa or a Bethenny that is human and therefore viewers can connect and enjoy them. The Miami cast doesn't have any such luck. These women are just horrible and vapid. They have no redeeming qualities and therefore the viewers don't really care what happens to them.

In the midst of this Miami noise machine Bravo calls a show, there is one beacon of pure delight and enjoyment: Elsa Patton. This woman should not only get her own show, she should adopt me as her granddaughter. I will totally bail her out of jail the next time she's locked up...it's because I care. Do I have a wisecracking cuban grandmother already? Yes. Does she proclaim she is a witch with soothsayer powers? I wish! But no. Unfortunately, while my grandmother is hilarious she doesn't take to the sauce as well or as frequently as Elsa. Because she spends most of her time wasted on the show, the jewels that come out of her mouth are nothing less than fantastically entertaining. When she is not slurring her words while in a red wine induced coma, she is giving the people around her back-handed compliments and assuring her daughter she is a "modern woman" when it comes to sex! I could watch this woman for hours. I want to bring her home. She might scare people off with her face (she used to be a real knockout by the way...I've provided pictures below), but she has won the hearts of Bravo viewers with her wit and charm. I love her.

Here's a clip of her being fantastic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adL_-5Ak7hA

Here is what she used to look like: (Scroll down past her mugshot)
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/cultist/2011/03/meet_elsa_pattons_old_face_fin.php

American Idol: Puppet Master

American Idol has become one of the most successful television programs in history. The program creators pride themselves on delivering "product." Essentially the pop princes and princesses that they produce are products for mass consumption. American Idol, now on season 10, has made a number of hopeful singers very popular while reaping the benefits from their promising stars.

The show encourages a formulaic mindset of music production. Employing a factory style mentality of sorts, it has become a conveyor belt developing and repackaging pop stars for mass consumption. While the show has been entertaining in the past, now that I am not such a great fan I can more clearly see what this show is all about. Instead of honing the craft of a young hopeful contestant, the show is hurting the integrity of music making by molding contestants into what the show needs. Individuality needs to be checked at the door if does not correspond with the needs of the show.

No one can argue the fact that American Idol has had tremendous success. What concerns me, however, is the fact that because it is so famous, this show is shaping conventions of taste. With that kind of power comes great responsibility (yes, I think i just quoted Spiderman :)

American Idol tries to portray itself as being altruistic in some ways. The show markets itself on being able to offer the ordinary person a shot at the American Dream. I would argue that this is not so. American Idol does not fulfill the prospective contestant’s dreams but instead fulfills the monetary dreams of the shows music executives and creators. The show's contestants sign their lives away. They can only endorse products that are sponsors for American Idol. They are not allowed to sign with any other record label for a certain amount of time after the show has completed filming. They essentially are American Idol puppets who serve as cash cows for the show.

There are also allegations that American Idol may not be as real as it claims to be. Many have wondered if the outcome and the contestant’s choices are rigged and pre-planned. I think it is important to question how "real" any of these reality shows really are. Not to say you shouldn't enjoy them. Just keep in mind, just like any production, this successful show is calculated and developed very carefully.